In the early 1970’s, I
experienced many thoughts that would race through my head,
sometimes at inconvenient times.
Most of them were in the form of fragmented notions,
incomplete visions, questions and fleeting ideas that would
literally enter my “central processor”, perhaps having some
analysis started, and then they would just disappear . . .
most of the time never to return.
Much was forgotten and this frustrated and disappointed me. However, I felt that the concepts that I could remember were
interesting and could be of value in trying to discover the truth
about life and existence, and of course about me.
I had a very extensive exposure
to conventional protestant religions training.
As a boy growing up in the city of Oakland, California, and
later in near by Lafayette, I went to Sunday school, and then to
the church service every Sunday.
I sang in the junior choir, participated in youth
activities, performed in church sponsored plays, and provided
music on occasion since I was an excellent trombone player. My parents also sang in the choir. Mom played the piano for special events and Dad had a great
baritone voice and was soloist for special music. I guess my musical sense, while it was already genetically
within, was nurtured by my parents . . . . And it developed as I
was growing up.
The dogma of the church never
really got through to me, even though I was exposed to all of the
rituals that one does as a young member of a church.
The sermons were usually boring, the Sunday school stuff
was usually very “plain vanilla” and benign, and my mind would
drift quite a bit. We
didn’t have “Hail Marys", but we had a lot of ritualistic
responsive reading and it seemed very repetitive and mechanical to
say the least. Singing
hymns was okay, but the words were basically a drag.
I soon found that whatever spiritual benefit I got from the
whole thing was from the music.
Being basically a “long hair” musician, I really
enjoyed Bach, Beethoven, Brahms, and the religious musical
compositions of the other great composers.
In later years, I continued with
my music, but then I made a career choice.
It was going to be either music,
or chemistry. Well, the
thought of making enough money to live on won,
and so I went to the University of California at Berkeley
and got a B. S. degree from the College of Chemistry in Chemical
curriculum was very technical, and I might say difficult, but this
was fine with me because I was so inclined.
Literature, the Arts, History, and the less quantitative
subjects were harder for me than the math, physics and chemistry
required for my area. This
whole sequence of events influenced me to develop logical
processes in my thinking.
This was, of course, much different than the approaches
that students must take if embarking on a career in philosophy,
law, Classic literature, or psychology, etc.
Although, I did take on course on the works of Plato . . .
and of course, Socrates was quite logical and I liked him very
much! The result was
that I didn’t have to do much high volume reading, only very
slow analytical digestion of technical papers, complicated
descriptions and mathematical notation with defined nomenclature. So, throughout my college, and working career, I was not, as
one would say, well read.
But, I still had these metaphysical thoughts nevertheless!
1976, I decided to do something about the dilemma.
I believed that if I could capture a “ fleeting idea”
as it was passing through my head by recording it with pen and
paper, I could preserve the concepts for further processing.
Even if what I wrote down was stupid, incorrect, heresy, or
whatever, I could
capture it and then think about it later.
I could even upgrade previous erroneous entries so that I
could ultimately get my own thinking straightened out.
One ground rule was that all entries would remain and not
be crossed out. So,
this was to be sort-of an experiment to see just what conceptual
information I had from
within, devoid of any outside influences.
I purposely did not research any of the great thinkers and
writers because I wanted simply to see what was inside of me.
Realistically, my writing it is not great pros,
and I cannot even claim that it is accurate.
The following text simply records what I thought about
various things, and my conclusions based only on what
I knew (as opposed to what
I did not know) from first hand perception and subsequent
conception. I tried
not to invent truths, or take what anyone said or wrote down
(including scriptures) as the truth.
As you read through the following, know that it has not
been modified, except for spelling and some grammatical upgrades,
in any way. Take it
for what it is and draw your own conclusions.